Emotions: those things that can make you want to shout out in song or cuddle with a blanket and hide. They come and go and change without notice.
How hard it can be to keep up with emotions.
And this week was one of those weeks where I found myself crying on my way home from work, overwhelmed by life and the decisions it forces us to make. I felt dumb for being so vulnerable and letting my feelings take over my day. I even told myself that I would go to bed at 8:00 p.m. so that I could stop feeling the flood of stress in my face.
My dad would be disappointed. He has always believed that we can control our emotions, that there is absolutely no reason to feel sad as long as we are breathing, and that being positive is the best solution.
I know he is right, kind of.
You see, as much as I would love to control my emotions at every moment. There is something beautiful about feeling the lows. Because then when we experience the highs, it is so much better.
Experiencing my low point last week also brought me back to simplicity and majesty–it brought me to the Word of God where I could feel cradled in my Father’s arms and gain confidence in what is.
I decided to open my Bible to a random page and found myself reading Psalm 104. I was reminded that God created this earth, that He holds it all in His hands.
“They (Your creatures) all depend on you to give them food as they need it. When you supply it, they gather it. You open your hand to feed them, and they are richly satisfied.” (Psalm 104: 27-28)
Yes, God will provide me with the necessities of life, such as food. However, He doesn’t only provide what I need; He richly satisfies. Despite my worries and stresses, I am reminded that God will provide each need, and He will fulfill that need beyond what I imagine.
Emotions are powerful. They can bring me to tears and make me go to bed early. They can also bring me to God, and when they do, I am reminded that despite emotion, there is fact.
And the facts? Well, God is stable and present and loving and graceful. He is with me, and my emotions cannot change that.